Throw Myself In.

words from a non-swimmer

You’ll want to read last week’s post if you missed it. Adding on from there.

Joined the club to use the lap pool. Yes. Can “swim” but not a swimmer. Don’t know the strokes. Never have. Put on my swim cap and goggles at dusk on a Friday when I hoped no one would be around to see me trying not to drown for next 30 minutes. Tried to remember all the cues from the Instagram videos I’d watched the previous days and did my best to breathe correctly doing freestyle. Turning the head at the right time, at the right angle, taking sips of air. I could breathe somewhat ok on the left. Taking breaths on the right sent me down like a torpedo. Swallowed enough water to fill a toddler pool.

After about 25 minutes (felt like 4 months), I got out of the pool. Was so dizzy, swerved like a drunkard and barely caught myself before hitting cement. Laid out in the nearest chaise lounge and tried not to puke. Made it to the showers and asked myself 4000 times What do you think you’re doing? Got to the car and sat there for 15 minutes in mild shock.

Came home, told Brad about all of it. He was on swim team in High School and is thus a decent swimmer. He laughed in my face (in a loving way) and told me that I need to concentrate on one aspect of swimming at a time.
No shit. I said. I almost died.
Sounds like you were fighting the water, he said.
No shit. I said. I almost died.

You’re fine! he said. (I love that about him. And by the way- one should never undervalue the words “you’re fine” when told to you by a trusted person.) Anyway- he’s going to come watch me in the pool next week. (I don’t think he’ll say I’m fine then, but if he does, I’ll be so relieved!)

Good news. Upper body - especially shoulders - held up well from my years of strength training. I even felt at one moment if I could take a friggin breath without flailing I might actually be a decent swimmer. Not overly sore this morning but definitely feel body fatigue - probably mostly from the emotional stress of being afraid of the water and drinking half the contents of the pool.

Scary shit learning to do something athletically new at 53 (nearly 54.) Working on not being a baby (this is Brad’s advice.) One of my clients is a swimmer and does long open ocean swims. I keep telling her how amazing she is. She always says…" “but I can’t do a handstand like you.” I hardly think ocean -swimming and handstands are comparable. But thanks for trying to make me feel better! (Wink.)

Seriously though, one day at a time. Next time I’m looking forward to using a pull buoy (a float held by the legs) which (theoretically) should make it easier for me to focus on the breathing. Plus if Brad can give me some tips, maybe one day soon I will get out of the pool like a normal person. Just a normal person who had a normal swim. Is that so much to ask?