My She

a stream of consciousness

She came up this weekend to pick up her car
And we worried for the first drive back
on her own
through big cities
a million lanes
a trillion cars

She wasn’t scared
not
one
bit.

And I tracked her
as mothers do
as mothers can
I could see in that small rectangle
she was sailing along the 5
all and everything
in her sunny yellow t-shirt

I pulled it together
organized the school loan paperwork
spent time in the kitchen
cutting veggies
cried
off and on

That’s menopause for you.
Nature plans things so oddly
So much empty at once

It’s not empty!
the 16 year old reminds me
as she blasts through the front door
beautiful & wild
looking for her phone

Time is pouring
it seems
there is nothing to hold onto anymore

So. I’m totally in
on the search for the phone

and whatever else is needed of me
my babies,

I’ll be there.