Kody

A poem for our boy.

In a low patch of sun
through a south facing window
that’s where we’d go
and play with Rope
or Piggie
never a match for his strength
(He was ruff + tuff.)

He smelled like maple syrup
with ears like velvet
especially right behind the ears
so soft
one of nature’s greatest mysteries.

One day I told the family about a news article -
Man loses his arms and legs to weird bacteria from dog!
We decided then
we would never kiss his face again.
Ever.

But
on the bed
with our face in his face
breathing his breath
suspended in the definition
of comfort
+ warmth
we found
we couldn’t help it
and took our chances.

There are no words for such an unfair loss
this was cruelly sudden
he was young.
Aggressive cancer, they said 
happens.
It took a few days
of several doctors repeating
before we could comprehend
the scans & tests
did not reveal 
a dog with a chance
they said
it was most compassionate
to let him go.

What?
This boy?
Our boy?
We called him son!
We called him kid!

Right afterwards
I howled
on my knees
Brad cried
like I’d never seen
a man cry
he wandered the house
every room
& repeated
one word:
No!

velvet ears
maple syrup face
just
Poof!
Gone!

We had seen two dogs through the end of their life before.
This was different.
He did not want to go.
His body was badly breaking
still
he tried to play.

He
who had only experienced
half a lifetime
of treats
of tug
of walks
of snuggle
He
was not finished
in the yard
on the floor
on the bed
by the door

I wrap myself in his blanket now
empty as his bowl
& ask of him
one last thing:
Please, buddy
Surround me.