Do the Thing.

Thoughts on eliminating the need for result.

How do you figure out what to do - where to put your time? I had to stop yesterday and list all the things that brought interest. (Garden. Write. Sew. Read. Deep clean. A run.) I saw how people become paralyzed and do none of it - just watch TV instead.

I forced myself to garden for a bit.
Then write.
I worked on several poems
for a long time
until I realized
my neck hurt
from writing in bed.

One thing middle age has brought me is a sliver of ability to let go of result. Because, I’m learning, it’s better as process. Do one thing, then another. You have to just do it. You have to garden and read and write. Don’t think of the after. Or is it good? Or how far did I get? Just do the thing. When your neck hurts, it’s time to move!

The world has become very focused on end result
I think
as I stare at myself in the mirror
and think
some women would have gotten a face lift by now!

Dang it.
What’s wrong with being myself.
If I don’t put myself up against something.
what will happen?
How will I know who I am,
or my true potential
if I’m spending time
trying to hide the lines.

Get your hands dirty in the garden, I tell myself.
Waste time hand-sewing.
One stitch after the other.

What did you do this weekend? someone will ask.
I sat with myself.
I watched myself.
I let myself be me.

Who is me?
Frankly, it’s hard to tell in this day and age.
But I can tell you one thing
Start
by doing the thing
you are drawn to do.