Everyone has their demons, and staying identified as a singer-songwriter, for whatever reason, has been mine.
The other night, I opened up my little pocket version of “On the Hero’s Journey” by Joseph Campbell. Of course, I somehow opened the book to the quote I most needed to hear. “You go into the abyss, and you come out. One can go crazy- or one can go through the craziness and come out the other side.”
Earlier that day I had been on a walk, deep in mental struggle about starting up my music again — the question “what’s the point?” was deafening. Historically, these types of thoughts beginning to breed would signal an impending breakup with my music and the guitar going back under the bed followed by a period of deep grief. Then years would pass in which I denied myself of my music. I would try and scrub myself clean of the “singer-songwriter” identity.
But you can’t erase who you are and who you are meant to be. When you try, you hurt. You limp. Who you are meant to be finds a way to leak out in other ways - but those leaks are never enough. You end up starved for the full expression of yourself.
For me, the songwriter always, eventually, rises like a phoenix…or a warrior, in Campbell’s terms. Most recently, the songwriter arrived when I was struggling to process several intensely painful years of family trauma. I (very literally) pulled the guitar out from under the bed in a desperate attempt to process what I had been through. Two months of intense floods of writing became an album and after all that, I was so much better.
The Warrior rises and walks the path as the wounded self cries: Warning! Warning! Failure ahead! To which the Warrior responds: So be it then. Bring on your failure and I’ll burn it, over and over again, until I come out the other side.
Like Winston Churchill said: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” Words I borrowed many years ago on my song “Practice.”
Looks like I’m still going. Burn on.
My first single “Healer” is streaming everywhere you can stream. (My second single “Amethyst” is coming soon!) On Dec 8 come see me play live at a very special concert at Soho in SB alongside other dear songwriter friends who will also perform. Get your tix here.
Today’s art by Ewan Richards